Waste My Time, Please

UNBLINKING WOMAN IN HER 40s WHO ACTUALLY TALKED LIKE THIS:  Hi!  I have another job -- that I work at all week! -- so I can only come in on weekends.  I'm going around town asking for advice and help with my dream of starting my own bookstore.  I mean, is this even possible?

CJB: Uh...

UWIH4WATLT:  I've been doing a lot of reading about how, now, independents are coming back after e-reading.  But, I'm going to need a lot of help!  I have a list of questions.

CJB:  Sorry, that's not really something I'm gonna be able to help you with right this second.  I'm at work.

UWIH4WATLT:  I mean, how would I even go about it?  Do you know of any mentors who could help me?

CJB:  I'm, uh, not really qualified to answer your questions.  I will say, though, if you don't like working sixty to eighty hour weeks, this probably isn't the job for you.

UWIH4WATLT [instantly frosty]:  Well.  I already work those hours, at my job.  So, I don't know what you're implying.

CJB: Uh...

UWIH4WATLT:  Are you the owner?

CJB:  Unfortunately yes.

UWIH4WATLT:  Well you haven't been helpful at all.  With an attitude like that, I have no idea how you succeed in business.

CJB:  Thanks for that. Hey, thanks for coming in.

[UWIH4WATLT flounces out]

EAVESDROPPING REGULAR WHO GETS IT:  Wow.

CJB:  Yeah, I can't win.  In the old days I'd be a sarcastic dick.  Now I really try to rein myself in, and that doesn't work, either.

ERWGI:  You were really trying, man.

CJB:  Yeah.  There's this refrain -- when I was younger, and lived at home, and said or did something really stupid, my mom would always say -- and this is maybe not so PC -- What's the matter with you, CJB, are ya retarded?

ERWGI:  I hear you.  [Pause] She didn't.
- posted by cjb @ 12:02 PM